Wait!!! Not Like This......

Have you ever prayed for something, got what you wanted, but didn't want it to happen the way it did? Whoa!! I have, but I keep trusting God.

I had a season in my life where I knew I wasn't living for the Lord, the way I should be. I knew my relationship with Him was slowly diminishing. I began to pray, asking God, to heal my relationship with Him, make me whole again, and teach me to trust Him more, and let me feel His presence, once again. He did just that!! Only, in my mind, I thought my prayer would've been answered differently.

Psalm 37: 4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. (NKJV)

Another word for 'delight' is 'rejoice' - And, I was rejoicing in the Lord; So thrilled He was listening and hearing me; He was going to wrap His arms around me and hold me, again - the desire of my heart - to be close to HIM!

Commit has the general idea to 'place into an other's charge'; Another word for 'commit' is 'entrust' - committing with trust and confidence. This is the very thing I was beginning to learn and to follow through with, only I didn't know what was coming my way. But, I was delighting (rejoicing) in and committed (entrusted) to Him!

After several long months, even up to a year, my life was spinning around me. I knew God was working on me and I was letting Him; for I was trusting Him and believing for the best - crying, at times, but He always held me close.

I eventually got what I wanted, the desire of my heart, to renew my relationship with the Lord, but did I want it the way I got it?? It wasn't my decision on how it happened - It was His - He knew what I needed, at that moment!! ..... What I got next was......Devastation! I lost a lot in the earthly realm, but gained much more in the spiritual realm.........I did pray, "do what ever it takes" to restore my relationship with You, Lord" - - He did!! Our growth doesn't happen our way......

Isaiah 55: 8  "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord. (NKJV)

I never thought my journey would go this way - MY WAY IS NOT HIS WAY - but, I continue to delight in - 'rejoice' in and commit to - 'entrust' - putting it all in the Lord's hands, knowing He wants only the best for His daughter!! It could have all turned out differently, if I had interfered, but God had and has a plan - He allowed some painful choices to be made, in order for His work to be done in me - the journey may be painful - but, there is a purpose in the pain. We must remain 'open' for Him to work, regardless!!

God has been, and is with me, with each breath I take!! It's been a rugged journey but He has carried me and sometimes even had to drag me along side of Him when I couldn't muster up enough energy to carry on. My relationship with Him is greater than it's ever been - I rely on, look to, call upon, talk to, cry to, and TRUST Him with EVERYTHING in my life, now. I give Him ALL the GLORY, for who I am and who I am becoming! I had to get out of the way so God could do His work. As I said before, it can be very painful, at times, but God knows what we need, when we need it and 'He will finish the work He began'.....in me.......and you! (Philippians 1:6)

I love Him more today and trust Him more than I realized possible!!! I will continue to Rejoice, Trust & Commit to Him - - - No matter the cost - - - His ways are the best!!

Getting out of the way......So He can work!

Full Circle

We often go through things in our life that bring us full circle; that's exactly what has happened to me. Due to a lot of different circumstances, I am back in a physical place, where my walk with the Lord began.

As I journeyed back to this place, I pondered the reason, or reasons, why. After lengthy contemplation and a lot of prayer, God showed me the answer. Sometimes, we must get back to the spot where we came to know Him, in order to begin, again, in a new way, and the right way.

I came to a place in my life where all I had was God (and all I have is God); He was teaching me to trust Him completely. I thought I totally trusted God when I got saved, and in my heart, I did, but not in the way He wanted or I should. I trusted Him for salvation, but it may have stopped right there. We must surrender everything to Him and let Him guide us; I made a lot of decisions without fully trusting His way.

Now that God has brought me through the difficulties and I've put all of my trust in Him, I understand why He brought me, full circle, back to where it all began. I'm so grateful to Him, for loving me so much, to give me another chance to do things His way, not mine; and with much more understanding.

Colossians 1:10  And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.

I'm now living for the Lord, doing my best to please Him, letting Him teach me and grow me, in order to produce the right fruit. During the first 10 years, after being saved, I worked hard to please others, and do what I thought I was suppose to do, but learned through it all, there is much more to living for God, than just 'doing'. We are to love the Lord, first!! I did, and do, love the Lord, but somewhere in it all, I was not working on my 'relationship' with Him - I know that 'faith without works is dead' but I also know 'works without faith/trust' isn't fulfilling; He must be first - not things, duties, or people. Once we come to know this, and strengthen our relationship with Him, all the other 'stuff' will fall into place. He will then place opportunities in front of us, in order to work and serve Him, and others, His way not ours.

So, as I settle back into place, where I started with the Lord, life is much fuller. I am firmly committed to Him, allowing Him to make my paths straight - seeking Him in all decisions.

It's been a hard journey, at times, but I know God loves me and will never leave me nor forsake me - He has proven that on many occasions. I trust Him more today and am living for Him, whatever path He puts before me. I've come a long way, even though I went in a circle, I believe He is picking me up, placing me on solid ground, in order to begin the journey again; this time with the right mindset, attitude, and motivation.

Galatians 2:20  I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

You may or may not have to come full circle; start right where you are and begin living the life He wants for you - His way - He will meet you where you are. Your heart will tell you if you need to reclaim your love for God and start fresh - listen to that small voice. In my case, God taking me full circle had to be done (He knew my needs); It was in that circular journey, with the Lord, that I come to learn He was, and is 'working all things together for my good' --- a total transformation.


Living His Way .......